Saturday, September 10, 2011
excerpt from Shaking in Her Flip Flops..... by Joyce Oroz
"Robert, don’t tell me you’re out of my favorite enchilada sauce.”
“I’ll check in the back.” He made a sharp right and disappeared into the warehouse. Five minutes later he was back with a jar of sauce and placed it in my cart.
“You’re brilliant, Robert. Thank you.” I pushed on to other aisles while Robert ran to the front of the store and opened the express lane. I finished the shopping list and was ready to pay for my two dozen items. Robert’s “10 items or less” lane was empty so he waved me in.
“Don’t worry, I do this all the time,” he said, just before an older woman wearing thick horn-rimmed glasses and a grumpy face shoved her basket into the back of mine. Her ten bottles of adult beverages, not that I counted, clinked and rattled. She pointed to every item in my basket and counted out loud. She put her hands on her hips and let out a long, smelly breath. Fortunately, Maude didn’t recognize me.
“I heard the FBI is getting involved with the hotel murder,” Robert said, probably quoting the KPIG reporter.
I squirmed, remembering that Maude was standing nearby and forced myself to act casual, but with my face turned away from her froggy stare.
“Why the FBI? It was just a murder,” I said. Robert paused to think.
“Maybe because of the stolen car? I don’t know, but they did say something about illegal immigrants.” Robert looked at the ceiling. “I think that’s what KPIG said, but don’t quote me.” Finally, he dropped the last of my groceries into the second bag. By that time Maude was gnashing her teeth. I hurried off with my two bags of groceries before the old woman could attack me from behind with a bottle of gin.